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Talk:The Warrior's Beginning (original version)/@comment-2142396-20171209211335
I finished chapter 5 and decided it was time to comment again. ;) First of all, I love the inclusion of Ballow and his actors! They are still recognizable as Redwall characters, but they are much more mysterious and enigmatic now and truly interesting to read about. Still, Ballow turned out to be friendlier than I expected from your earlier description of him as someone who is loyal to his troupe above all and only helps others when it benefits him. At least he was willing to share some of his tricks with Brome! I really liked how you used their conversation to give us some exposition, such as establishing the geography of the world and the difference between talking and feral animals. Oh, and since Ballow mentions feral jackals, does this mean that there are non-feral, anthro jackals as well? I remember you mentioning that you like that idea in ‘Accused’, so it would’ve been interesting to see them. Ughh, Roderick!.. When he appeared in the first chapters, he seemed to be more annoying than anything, and I didn't understand the reason for such a fierce animosity between him and Sally. But the way he treated Brome – just that disdain and condescension in Roderick's tone made me want to strangle him. Arguably, Brome shouldn't have lost him temper and threw that rock, but that didn't justify Roderick beating him up so that he could barely walk. :o I definitely see the makings of a villain in Roderick, just because he is used to doing whatever he wants and getting away with it. On the other hand, I'm really glad that this episode allowed Aryah and Urran to shine. Since we saw the story from Sally's PoV, her parents seemed to be either distant or fussy all the time, but here we can see their devotion and fierce love for their children. Seeing Aryah, normally so calm and reserved, go into full-blown 'mama bear' mode when she learned the truth about Roderick was unexpected but awesome. I especially loved her speech about how much Sally means to them, and Urran being determined to gather a search party to look for his daughters is worth a lot. Groddil and Sally's conversations are pretty deep and philosophical, and I can tell that Groddil's role as Sally's mentor was indeed taken seriously. And I certainly enjoy their training sessions, seeing young Sally be so enthusiastic and yet clueless about the matter is so entertaining! :D But what I like the most is that now Sally’s journey gets a purpose when she agrees to accompany Groddil to help him find the third mark and to avoid leading Ferran back to Evenglade. In the first version, Sally and Rose seemed to stumble upon Martin by chance, confusing me about the distance between Noonvale and Marshank and a wounded beast’s ability to cover such distance. :P Now that we know about the marks and Greeneyes’ involvement from the very beginning, things fall into the greater design and help create a bigger picture. However, Rose's tendency to break down when the things don't go as planned wasn't as pleasant. :P It was a long time since I read the first version of TWB, but I think that she was tougher than that even before her character development in FWC. If Tynek's broken wrist is as bad as Erwin says and he would indeed never able to use it again, then things are more serious than I thought. I guess that's why his right paw is wrapped in bandages on the cover? I also can't help but remember the injury to his right shoulder that Martin received fighting Tsarmina at the end of FWC that also left his right paw with limited mobility. One thing is certain, this injury would make it more difficult for Tynek to train and fight, and this is going to be an interesting development. Greeneyes are more strongly tied to the plot and to Daskar family in particular than in the first sketch, and I wonder if Verdauga himself is the reason for Erwin’s tragic backstory – judging by her reaction to Badrang’s news, Erwin is afraid of Verdauga, and more than that, Badrang is worried for her as well, going as far as saying that he would protect Erwin from him. Was Verdauga connected to Estella’s fate somehow? I suppose that’s a mystery until it’s revealed in-story… I also suspect that Groddil’s comment about ‘cat with a mace’ that crippled his paw has something to do with Greeneyes as well, since Groddil’s backstory may be different now than in the first version… On an unrelated note, I wanted to ask if you still remember my request? It’s okay if you don’t have time, I just want to know whether I should expect it or not.